Embrace uniqueness

I was just standing in the kitchen removing pith from four Hand of Buddha citrons while the Pane Acido di Semola was in its last minutes of baking, and the question popped into my relatively unoccupied mind:

Is there anyone else in the world who is doing exactly what I'm doing right now?

Got me. It's all a bunch of chaos theory in motion. But probably not.

The bread turned out beautifully, the citron will be leaching for at least two days, and now I will tuck into a book by Achebe and a bit of knitting as I close my day ("Things Fall Apart", just in case anyone would like to join me and rid me of my notions of uniqueness). My hands smell wonderful. Like the old Jean Nate, only better.

Latest Poem

Today I thought I lost them


It was getting dark, and no kids.
I had sent them outside to play
and they know to come in before dark
and to not go where I can’t see them
and not to talk to strangers
or get into strange cars.

But it was getting dark, and no kids.
I walked and drove the block – no kids.
I yelled in the back yard – no response.
That voice began in the back of my brain
and yet, I felt they were safe somewhere.
Even their bikes were home.

Finally I stood in the dark house,
centered, that panic grabbing me
and the thoughts of calling police
and my God, what would I say to their dad?
I wailed for my eldest son, desperately, loudly,
and I heard his reply.

They had sneaked back into the house
and put themselves to bed, perfectly quiet,
completely covered by their blankets,
ears stoppered to my yelling with sleep.
I stood looking at them, dumbfounded,
no sane response.

I won’t dwell on where my mind had gone.
Shots, treatments, anguish, surgeries, years,
cannot have more, and no longer have each other.
I won’t focus on how my life revolves around
these two small and wonderful souls.
I will just live gratefully.

30 Dec 2008